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Amor Fati

by Prolific

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1.
2.
Verse 1: I'm, bipolar, fucked in the head, Gundrawn, playing russian roulette.... Depressed, waiting for a manic phase, a little colour to fill in the blacks and greys, ..my doctor said I was a head case, walking like my body was a dead weight, huh, I've got a chemical imbalance, and a beautiful mind for developing the madness, and he said I'd be better off dead, better off left with a head of hot lead, So I'm left drowning in the night, but somehow I've found the will to fight, cuz if I have once chance to live, then that once chance is this..... Bittersweet - that's all that I know, No time for hesitation now on with show..... ... Chorus: Some people are afraid of change, but I'm afraid of what stays the same, And I feel that life is beautiful... but all my days are still filled with pain, And any trial that been I've left to face, I accept with silent grace... On whirlwind tour of this makeshift land left drifting through time and space, I wait..... Verse 2: It's a problem, I've got an imagination, that's sky high like the top of the appalachians, and I follow the path I'm making, ---A poet with audible aspirations... - what an intricate twist of fate, to be given visions as vivid as william blake, to shift shape my image like dripping paint, ...then, live with decisions I didn't make, I read the classics and the grecian myths, so now I stand with atlas and prometheus, A schizophrenic or any title that's been invented, ,,,,,and stuck in a given sentence to limit my independent - thoughts… and leave me in a box, while psychological scientists stand and watch, .....I've lost... everything I hold dear, but I still embrace this fate i made with no fear!! Chorus: Some people are afraid of change, but I'm afraid of what stays the same, And I feel that life is beautiful... but all my days are still filled with pain, And any trial that been I've left to face, I accept with silent grace... On whirlwind tour of this makeshift land left drifting through time and space... Verse 3: Traumatic train of thought - connect the dots, .....eye drops - and electric shocks, One spark could ignite the ashes, -and maybe give light to these skies of blackness, But how can I fight this madness How can I re-rewrite this passage, I showed my soul to Sigmund Freud... …..But only music can fill the void!!
3.
Time ticks another second is gone, far as I'm concerned it's probably just best to move on, and best to be strong, and best to be calm, ...Best to do whatever get's me beyond, I'm in pain but I patiently write, I'm a patient where the walls are all painted in white, and I live with thoughts of taking my life, so I'm praying for God to take me tonight…….. but I still know I'll find tomorrow. Another day to wash away... Another day to fill with sorrow, Another day to fill with pain…. Can't complain, made it to 25, ..I should be happy just to say that I'm alive, and I should have some pride…. besides. how many times was I close to my demise, ...I watch it all and laugh, I see the colour in the solid black… I live with thoughts of taking my life, so I'm praying to God to take me tonight… but I still know I'll find tomorrow. Another day to wash away... Another day to fill with sorrow, Another day to fill with pain…. There's a bible by the side of my bed - a king james, left for suffering souls that feel pain, to seek a little solace and hold to the moments, that bind us together in the day…. ….So I float in the shape of grace, and wait for a grave to take my place…. With thoughts of taking my life. I'm praying to God to take me tonight…. but I still know I'll find tomorrow. I know…. Another day to wash away... huh... Another day to fill with sorrow, Another day to fill with pain….
4.
Faust 03:04
I was chilling with the organ grinder`s monkey, sipping-on- imported wine from hungary, contemplating my soon death, when I thought came to my head, (it went) ha, is there all there is? Should I fall to bits, and call it quits, But then I saw it was all a risk, the bigger the bet you make then the better it is, and from that point I started living with passion, tired of being tied down with limited action, I made a switch from a literal has been, to living in the middle of a pivotal path and, I was 21, not a boy, not man yet, near the age of hamlet at his last breath, and that day, my path changed, ...What happened I still can`t say…. Chorus But down came a one winged angel, angel, to lay my fate on the table, table he said you can be kain or be able, he said any mistake could be fatal… and I said, Take me higher, Make me someone, Take my sorrow, Free me from this form of flesh and blood. Verse 2: Up to then…. ..everything had been irrelevant, just another man crawling in the sediment, but in a second, everything went venomous, till I saw past self without resemblance, my sentiments were gone, living different phase, chapter 2, all I had to was flip the page, and now I burn like the glowing sun, and smoulder like the tip of a loaded gun, and I was broken once left cold and numb, untill I sold my soul for a token sum, ….. so now I live with grace, like a black swan swimming on crystal lake… Chorus cuz…. down came a one winged angel, angel, to lay my fate on the table, table he said you can be kain or be able, he said any mistake could be fatal… and I said Take me higher, Make me someone, Take my sorrow, Free me from this form of flesh and blood But….. Verse 3: I spent years in front of heaven`s gates sleeping on the steps, dreaming I was blessed, fiending for the best, Waking in the morning with a fever with sweat, with all sorts crazy thoughts creeping head, and at times when I think I should leave this all to rest, I find another addiction to relieve me from the stress, so believe me when i tell you how deep this really gets, now leave me to my….. DEATH….
5.
6.
Sham 04:35
I'm still alive, man it pays to be resilient, Staring at these faces on the buildings, Business man grin so ill making millions - These are the types that like to paint me as the villain, But I'm thankful I've been given a chance, to play that role for them cuz to live is to dance… and whether it's with the devil or with an angel, ...I seduce to put bread upon the table, I've been indoctrinated - changed and intoxicated, complicated, my actions taken out and moderated, God forsaken, huh, thrown to the curb, not even given a chance to own what I earned, So fuck this world… as it slowly turns, I hate this place, I hope that it burns….. ….I need something I can believe in, ..but there's nothing but dust lust and the precinct, Chorus: So welcome to my world - I invite y'all in, Let's night walk tonight with the lights all dim, and drink wine and scrawl off poems… and escape this place we all call home. Verse 2: Starting to see how my suicidal idols felt, it's a problem I think I've got it inside myself, I'm looking at the cards here that I've been dealt, How the hand plays - well only time will tell. In this game of chance I'm trying to beat lottery, It's either that or find myself up for free lobotomy, so with the time I have I'm trying to read philosophy, and breathe the odyssey like my life was greek mythology, I went to school with the sons of aristocrats…… who supplied drugs to thugs rocking fitted caps, …..Coke died white n cut with a little glass….. Then sold to the sons of the middle class, ……I watched corruption trickles it's way down, now me and the devil we live in the same town, …..I've seen humanity right at it's best, With a smile for the camera and a knife in ya chest…. I used to think I was the Phoenix but the phoenix is dead, Now i find myself fighting over pieces of bread… fighting over decent sleep and seeking a bed, to lay my weary soul and bring peace to my head, but all I see if flash backs of a villain, who escaped from the shackles that had him trapped and imprisoned…. Who's back in abandon buildings, stabbing backs for a living, attacking randomly killing all passive passing civilians, he came to take me I but came to beats the odds, …and I'll be fighting as long as I know that he's still at large, cuz I came to beat the laws of this physical vessel, to reach beyond what I was given on this primitive level, So give me the pedals of the mystic n kiss goodbye, n excuse while I kiss the sky…….. see……. ....this whole world's a sham.. Welcome to my world - I invite y'all in, Let's night walk tonight with the lights all dim, and drink wine and scrawl off poems… and escape this place we all call home.
7.
John Keats 05:15
Verse 1: I'm waiting for my diagnosis, I'm counting down until my time, I'm drinking medicine from roses..... I'm pouring back these rounds of wine..... and I'm fine....Yes I'm fine..... ...I'm ready to stand in line... for my time, my time has come, My life is done...... The doctor said my case is hopeless, It'll take my stomach and my spine, ... and as far as his prognosis, It'll take my body then my mind..... Chorus: but I'm fine....Yes I'm fine..... ...I'm ready to stand in line... for my time, my time has come, My life is done...... Verse 2: The doctor warns of complications, he sees them written on my face, prescription's a life of moderation, .......yet still I go to waste...... but I'm fine....Yes I'm fine..... ...I'm ready to stand in line... for my time, my time has come, ...... My life is done...... Verse 3: I have a friend, and he's a painter, at times he holds by the hand, and I still hold my love of nature, as I return into the land.. and I'm fine....Yes I'm fine..... ....I'm ready to stand in line for my time, my time has come, My life is done.....
8.
Interlude 01:51
Featured vocal samples from: James Dean, Brandon Lee, Josef Breuer, and Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
9.
The 27 Club 04:07
Verse 1: Every line of my verse is like a 45 in reverse…… ….. I hear the devil time I rehearse, Visions of cold bodies getting piled in a hearse, and me at 27 dead lying in dirt…. But if I do die in the prime of this fine life, I wanna do it while inside of the limelight, and at the moment man the timin ain't quite right, I need to blow up before I'm blinded by white light, I've paid my dues with the elegant scars, that line my chest as well the flesh of my arms, … I wanna be known for reppin it hard, and setting the bar like my name was Kendrick Lamar, and once I hit that level of notoriety, I'll snap, buy a gun, load it violently, …..Put it up to my left temple and laugh, Then pull the fucking trigger and turn present to past… Chorus: WILL IT BE VIOLENCE OR WILL IT BE DRUGS, WILL IT BE THE COPS? OR WILL IT BE THE THUGS? WILL IT BE MY OWN HAND, WILL IT BE MY LOVE'S? …. THAT WRITES MY NAME IN THE 27------CLUB, Verse 2: Yeah, I'm still poppin the same pills... Trying to make mills out shopping for day quill, Cigarettes got me coughing up some grey swill, Mind numb the same way my face feel?? Too many strip clubs, too many long nights, too many bar fights, but that's alright, cuz I can take an uppercut to my motherfucking throat, and still hit the bar for another rum n coke, Feeling like my whole career is nothing but a joke, watching every dream I had going up in smoke, Feeling the vision in my head cut to black, After a massive overdose of sex, drugs, and rap, …..But I"m not afraid to make the last entrance, Raise my glass then take my last exit, Fade to black then chase this damn deathwish, and admit my life's played a like breaking bad reference,
10.
Hagakure 03:17
Verse 1: I love the way blood trickles on the streets, When I cut right into the liver of the beast,   Still delivering the heat, pimps limpin to the beat, ...Memories of days past all littered at my feet.... Another white night presented by the fascists, who break us down with every move designed to kill the masses..... ......Nowadays I study Che for the methods of war, and i've been needing those skills more than ever before, ---God save us---- our flags have been half masted, and friends from the past have been turned into black ashes, Pass the cup and drink the poison of a Christ, that's been bastardized for years now and turned into a vice........ ....And as bastard there's no father looking down... There's chaos in the streets if u stop and look around... huh....We're less than a step from oblivion...... So FUCK this world that we're living in...... Cuts: There's a war going on outside..... It's a cold world and this is ice.... standing in a whole new light... re-re-re-real hip hop...... Verse 2: I celebrate my life like it's my funeral today, and fill my black veins with a beautiful decay, In an unusual display of free thought, I blast truth on the mic every time I hear a beat drop… I've got the spirit of dead man walking, in a moment when he comes across his very own coffin, Standing and watching his days unfold, in a story that he knows will remain untold, I've been thrown in the pit with the sick and the chronically ill, left in debt cuz of my hospital bills, IV to the vein, my seasons have changed, From a light summer breeze, to the sleet and the rain, Left trying to build with the sounds that I summon, and a classic education that amounted to nothing.. Stuck in a post-modern collage, living in shambles... and there's no escape, cuz they kill us from every angle, Cuts Break: Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. Every day when one's body and mind are at peace, one should meditate upon being ripped apart by arrows, rifles, spears, and swords. Being carried away by surging waves. Being thrown into the midst of a great fire. Being struck by lightning, being shaken to death by a great earthquake. Falling from thousand-foot cliffs, dying of disease, or committing seppuku at the death of one's master. And every day, without fail, one should consider himself as dead. Cuts
11.
Amor Fati 04:25
Verse 1: Last night, I met a wise man, crow's feet in the corner of his eyes, and he told me, (and he told me) that a storm was on the rise, And for the rain he gave me a glass coffin, So I could watch spring fall and grass blossom… …So I could stare at the drops, in the same way other men stare at their watch… I learned to never miss a passing scene…… and that the sky was the colour of gasoline… that, twists and turns, holds and then breaks, and drifts like smoke on a lake…. love your fate…. Chorus: Send me a farewell, send me a rose, Send me a gravelled covered in snow, and with my last words, I'll patiently pray, Give me my fate then take me away, Verse 2: No one wants to be crucified, they just want glory, but without struggle there is no story, ....Without wrong there is no right, Without dark there is no light...... So when faced with the blood-dimmed tide, On a red november night when the sun drips wine,  I remind myself of what I've learned The right to life must be earned... I been, beaten and battered, repeatedly shattered, and made a fool of in front of all the people that mattered, Left on a cross, pinned up, chin up, spread, little flowers on the ground where my broken hands bled... Chorus Verse 3: I see it in the eyes of the love of my life, and I've felt it in the touch that ignites, …the moment till there's nothing but light, so if you've come to take me I've come for the fight… and I see hope in the broken little pieces of my heart, that I put back together until my pain was an art, ….a blade made in the shape of the dark, that can cut through nightfall and break it apart, (echo) …I stand strong for my family name, and beats the odds in the end like andy dufraine, Passing the flame, straight from a path in the rain, …..I broke through that glass coffin and my sanity came….. …and every dream took shape in my hands, like my forefathers before me who slaved for the land, ….and you can see it in the way that I stand…. The patience and greatness made from the grace of a man- Who refuses to step down when the battle is done… Even when his blood drips down the back of his tongue, ….Who keeps on walking when nothing is left, and mutters words of hope from under his breathe…. Who cuts the albatross down from the chain on his neck, and acts with love and treats every day with respect, Who weathers the storm, til it suddenly breaks… Until the smoke clears and reveals the sun on the lake… So say I'm depressed, say I'm self-involved, But realize this record ain't about myself at all, Cuz everyone's pressed against the wall, and if I help myself then it helps us all……
12.
The Dawn 05:10
Verse 1: When I die man, I'll wake up dreaming, with the air so fresh that I can taste the season, u see them planes passing overhead, that's a sign of where we're going next, (ha) Coloured skies'll be the palette that I paint with, cuz lately I'm convinced we're all gonna make it, The greys and blacks are green, silence speaks - my mind is open, The light that flashes through the trees is blinding, time is frozen, The wedding bells chime singing for the bride and groom, I watch from up above sitting where the violets bloom, Where the rain falls up, and the sky drinks the drops, Where people practice the mix of thought Davinci taught, I took a chance so I could find my heart at play, The same chance my girl took to love me in my darkest days, so I learned love my fate to take the burden on, and learned that pain was life but something I could work beyond, Chorus: Ships sink slow, let the chips falls as they may, Black and white keys lie waiting on display, Angels are falling, the sky crimson red, The pendulum swings, held by a thread, Verse 2: Found myself lost - washed ashore in the crystal sands, Now I rise again in the blend, and take this step as a different man, In the valley of dark and light, in a moment of now and then, In the life of enlightened souls that balance time between Tao and Zen, ….. No crown on my head left fighting giants like my name was David, Living a lifetime of praise until my days are faded…. Took the time to make the world around me open wide, ...Planting seeds in the same place other-men-go-to die… Nothing but a melody sing that song, keep on living till the gift is gone, Til the wind is calm, looking out at the ships at dawn, Every single line curving in perfection, Captured in an instant, every person and impression, The unadulterated vision, life is prolific, An all-encompassing abundance given out with no limits, The strength, the beauty, the struggle, the break, All the changing visions that come to mind when I wake… Chorus Breakdown Chorus
13.
Verse 1: I come from a place where time won't pass, and christian families still gather for midnight mass, A world I left and never looked back, But that I feel under my skin as if my blood was black, I hear my name called --> which I try to ignore, ….But I can't ignore that shadow that hides on the floor, That shadow follows me, at times it makes me sick, and no matter what I do… the shadow won't lift, Last fall I returned - to try and face my past, and pick up the fragments I found scattered in the grass, Different parts of my self, I didn't think could last, Parts I'd barely known that had vanished all too fast, I felt as I had often felt - dead - close to numb, With the clamped down oppression insisting I hold my tongue, The sun-fading dark insisting to spread across the land, and across my neck I felt the brush of her pale hands…. Chorus: We made my love and I be-neath the weeping willow, But now alone I lie the tree it weeps with me... Verse 2: Bitter sweet november, I felt her presence close, like hands around my neck, then felt them letting go, ...From afar, a figure floating in the mist, moving like the ocean as it rose from the abyss, This, pale princess dancing in the moonlight, deep cuts in her arms just to get the mood-right, Sitting in the park by the pigeons at dusk, a vision of lust, a risk, a step towards and into the dust, Jenn, the same Jenn I'd known from years before, Jenn, who's song I had sung for years while out on tour, 28-now but just as I remembered, Jenn with black-lipstick drawn on tight to the letter, Delusional and dark, beautiful and smart, A red violin playing music in the park, A lucid dream ending with Judas in the dark, and to pain nothing short of a student of the art... Nomenclature nonsense pulp fiction throwback, prozac pills prescribed, a bottle marked kodak, I only wanted just a little, but she had to have it all, On a pale moon night in the middle of the fall, Let us fall… let us fall… Chorus Verse 3: She said, "come with me beside the willow where I weep" Follow my path to the pillow where I sleep, Keys in the lock, a door with red trim, A solitary flat, lights flickering dim, On the ground lay a tattered dress, on the wall a mask of death, …Demon's of the Flesh open with... 7 chapters left, and she stared at me with those sad sullen eyes, Tattoos of black butterflies rising to her upper thighs, Her gaze a disease that creeps under your skin, The touch of her skin enough to spill the blood of a king, and I saw myself as nothing but the hunter of sin, When the hunter is thin and feeling the hunger within, Willing to surrender like I did to a life of art, and let her wrench the jack knife that lies beside my heart, and turn it like the memories together alone on the bus, and the stories that we'd share during the moments of dusk, Beneath the weeping willow, in a romantic embrace, where I would indulge in a dream that I was passing away, I'd misplaced so many feelings on the visions I'd seen, and paid a bitter price for living in a dream…. But those days are long past, I'd since become a man, 10 years changes you in a way it's hard to understand, I watched Jenn staring at the wall watching the paint decay, Until she took my hand sometime at the break of day, and said, You can be adam and I can be eve, and we'll both tell our story in the dream that we weave, And if you believe everything we say can be true, We can forget all the regrets, all the hurt you ever knew, FUCK ME underneath the willow until your married to the pain, …Let's share our poison like a needle buried in the vein, So I held her in my arms, and within a sudden sullen note, Ran a blade along her neck and calmly… cut….. her…. throat,

about

His second full length studio album, Toronto artist Prolific's thirteen song Amor Fati is a challenging and inspiring work. A rich sensorial experience of rap poetry and sound--live instruments, digital sounds, turntablism, and samples--Prolific weaves the personal and the social into an often jarring narrative of violence, drugs and alcohol, mental illness, suicide, and death in the thick of a dream-like urban landscape that both attracts and repels.

Musically, Amor Fati is indicative of a burgeoning producer with a signature style. Drawn from classical, boom-bap, industrial, and even gothic influences, the stylistic variations are nevertheless seamless and consistent. Prolific’s extensive time in the studio as an engineer and producer - in tandem with his nuanced and autodidactic library of reference material - allows him to create musical landscapes ranging from gritty back alleys, through the pastoral, and on to the gates of Hell.

I'm, bipolar, fucked in the head,
Gun drawn, playing Russian roulette....

But Prolific's compositions do more than offer riveting accounts of life in extremes. Throughout Amor Fati, the artist invites his listeners to look at these dislocating realities from a series of different angles. "Collisions with the Infinite," for instance, begins with a droning rendition of a few sentences from a Terence McKenna talk. "We have no tradition of Shamanism. We have no tradition of journeying into these mental worlds. We are terrified of madness..." Prolific's Amor Fati looks madness in the eye. It explores the "mental worlds" for which our Western culture has no language, catching glimmers of hope in the tumult of personal despair and hanging onto the possibility of transformation in the midst of dystopia. From the title track--

and I see hope in the broken little pieces of my heart,
that I put back together until my pain was an art,
….a blade made in the shape of the dark,
that can cut through nightfall and break it apart

Psychological struggle becomes spiritual struggle--"the mind is a tool of alchemy" Prolific raps in "Divine Disrespect"--and the artist guides the listener through the detritus of personal and social dislocation towards the "Dawn," the penultimate track in Prolific's composition.

An extraordinary work of multiple voices and layered soundscapes, Amor Fati engages in ongoing conversation with Western cultural traditions. The work is rife with allusion, ranging from Greek mythology to William Blake--from John Keats to Jimi Hendrix. But the references are not mere decoration. Instead, the voices of the distant and near past slip almost naturally into the brutal honesty, originality, and powerful delivery of Prolific's raps. Nor does Prolific leave unchanged the material he incorporates into his art. In lines that rewrite the conclusion of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," Prolific offers a compelling image of personal transformation and redemption--

Who keeps on walking when nothing is left,
and mutters words of hope from under his breathe….
Who cuts the albatross down from the chain on his neck,
and acts with love and treats every day with respect,

The title of Prolific's effort - Amor Fati - is a Latin phrase that can be translated as "love your fate" and that calls to mind the German Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche's idea of "The Eternal Return" (the title of the album's opening track that sets the tone for the entire album). Prolific's work challenges his listeners to embrace the circumstances into which they have been thrown--to find healing through the affirmation of the worth of their own life and fate even in a world that is witnessing the rising of the "blood-dimmed tide."

credits

released November 5, 2015

Dedicate to those who stood by me through these turbulent times.

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Prolific Toronto, Ontario

Modern poetic hip-hop. Producer & MC.

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